Facebook pull's Egg Finger's profile-do they hate creativity?

<- Does this look like a threat to society to you?

I should probably mention that Egg Finger's comic book is on sale now and that you can buy a copy HERE

I recently received a press release from the creator of the Egg Finger comic, telling me that his page got taken off Facebook. This is unsettling to me, as it seems to defeat Facebook's main purpose, bringing people together.

Does anybody really believe a cartoon rotten egg is out to kill everybody? NO! What was really going on here was a small artist's attempt to get out the word about his book, and interact with his fanbase. This reminds me of something (I hesitate to mention this) my ex-girlfriend occasionally did. She would a supervillian on her twitter account, (For bonus points, go on acting like you were looking for Fraiser Crane) and talk smack to superheroes and other supervillians, while making threats and griping about society. She's been doing since before I knew her, which means since before 2009.

While I have verified that the girl is entirely incapable of doing anything more threatening than making angry forum posts, (No seriously, her bone to muscle mass ratio was disturbing) what makes what she does worse than what Egg Finger was doing? A quick look through Egg Finger's profile would show that it was nothing more than an advertising campaign. An advertising campaign that could only be added through a person's conscious decision, and could be tuned out just as easily. If people didn't enjoy having a cartoon rotten make threats at them and the world, they wouldn't have friended said cartoon rotten egg.

This type of removal is bad, since it makes things difficult for smaller businesses to get the word out. Being politically correct doesn't attract attention, and small artists and businesses know this. Yet, Facebook is making it difficult on them by banning them for using the tools they provide.

Would warning people be too hard for Facebook? Can't people defriend of unlike people who spam them too much? Who was even being hurt by this?

And right before the guy's book release? That's kind of mean.

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I really hate that stupid Red M&M

<- See that smug face? Don't you just wanna smack him upside his candy coated head?

While I was performing my usual tasks at a grocery store and looking at a promotion, one day I came to a realization: I really hate that damn red M&M. It all started when I saw this candy book shown at the right, featuring the little bastard with the title “How Red Saved Christmas.”

I believe this offends me because this little promotion shows off how much of a wanna-be know-it-all the Red M&M is, and his expression shows that he wants you to think he’s cool. Well, NOBODY THINKS YOUR COOL, you stupid candy coated pile of chocolate with legs! I don’t see what gives this asswipe the right to think he’s all that and a bag of chips, and he parades around in such a manner nonetheless! GAH, he pisses me off so much.

Of course, it doesn’t help that in the commercials he thinks he’s better than everyone. You see him push around the mentally challenged yellow M&M all the time, and he just goes along with it! What are we teaching kids these days? That you should take advantage of any peanut-headed piece of candy you can find? I just wanna see one commercial where one of the other M&M’s tells red to leave yellow the **** alone!

Looking into his profile on the M&M’s website, we can tell that this guy is in fact, a total tool. His biggest turn on is “When people blindly follow his advice.” UGH. I think the guy at “weights down” said it best

“I hate all M&M commercials.  The red one talks like the kind of cynical [expletive] you'd find working a crappy booth at a movie convention that thinks he's hot [expletive] because the other nerds look up to him even though in reality you wouldn't waste your time smacking his lunch tray out of his hands if you saw him in a high school cafeteria, “

I mean really, who does this guy think he is? Just because he’s the spokesman for some candy company doesn’t mean anybody has to think he’s cool. I personally refuse to buy any package of M&M’s if it has the red guy on package predominantly, assuming it can be avoided. Of course it helps that Peanut butter M&M’s beat the stuffing out of milk chocolate M&M’s anyway! You hear that Red? YOUR CANDY ISN’T THAT GOOD!

Anyway, I really felt the need to vent on this. It’s not good for a person to keep blinding hatred like the hate I possess for the Red M&M bottled up, right?

Most importantly, for the M&M election thing that I keep finding on my Dr. Pepper cups, I strongly urge you to vote for anybody but Red. We can’t let people like this into office. See, he's even ignoring you right now while text messaging! Isn't that irritating?

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Quit playing single player games at multiplayer parties

<-Street Fighter II, the quintessential game for multiple people to play. Notice how it has room for two players, and allows them to rotate quite easily

At the most recent party I attended, I noticed a strange tendency among they gamers in the room present. They all seemed to be surrounding a TV watching one guy play a single player game. Now then, this room contains like 4 people and a large TV. Furthermore, there were more than enough controllers present for everybody to play. This left me wondering why the bloody hell anybody would stand by and allow this to happen.

Sadly, I do know the attitude that allows for such atrocities to happen. It’s a state of sheer apathy and lack of desire to compete that is possessed by many people who enjoy sitting around and watching their friends play games at parties. This both offends me when I am playing the game and watching a person play such a game, for this activity does not promote any growth in the person sitting there watching another person game. Furthermore, it I’m the person watching, it offends me that this person has the gall or narccisstic tendancies to think that I find sitting and watching them play a game without me remotely entertaining. This si the very reason that games like Halo, Dead or alive and Street Fighter were invented, so friends can beat the stuffing out of each other in parties, without feeling left out. Yet, many nerds tend to continue in this fashion of leaving people out of gaming matches in favor of just having one guy get all of the fun. This was a silly issue, such as when I was hanging at a friends house and they wanted to play Arkham Asylum instead of Mario Kart Wii, even though 4 people were present (those people had bad taste anyway.)

To this I say to people! Stop making social events just so you can all play the games you would sit around and play by yourself! Sure, if you go to a friend’s house and play their games, they will probably kick your ass, bus so what? They didn’t get good by sitting around watching you play games, so have your bro falcon punch you in Super Smash brothers. Nobody cares how many points you can get on a level, or what level your char is at, or exactly how good you are at some single player game! Multiplayer was invented for a reason, and people need to start using this ability. 

Does is bother anybody else when people gather in order to play single player games?

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Why Weeaboos really grind my Gears

I find weeaboos to be really irritating. For those of you that are uninformed, a weeaboo is a slang term for a white guy (female weeaboos exist, They are less common, but I assure you, just as irritating as their male counterpart) who is obsessed with Japan. These people bother me because I actually think Japan sounds like a dreadful place from my American perspective, and why somebody would want to live there instead of America baffles me. Alas, these people seem intrigued with this entire culture that they know of only by watching cartoons.

This is of course, incredibly silly. These people are under a strange impression that Japan would be accepting of them if they were to go there, which is funny, because Japan is a notably elitist country. Furthermore, weeaboos seem to think that Japanese women (or men) will be attracted to them. These people are wrong, for their dating lives will be just as lonely and miserable in Japan as they are in their home country. Yes, that does mean you. While it is true that you may be a foreigner, which is interesting, your personality will remain the same, and as your true colors come out, it will be revealed that they don’t actually find your personality all that attractive, as you just sit there fascinated by the things they do everyday. After that, they will leave you for a Japanese man (or girl) in the same fashion the members of the opposite sex practice in your home country.

Although delusions of Japan wanting the average weeaboo to move to their county greatly grind my gears, these conversations are quite easy to avoid. Unlike these conversations many weeaboos will decide to use Japanese phrases in their everyday speaking. This is strange, inconsistent, and usually holds no meaning to those who don’t speak the language, or the butchered variant that weeaboos speak. So while these people may feel that they are more cultured, they are in fact just butchering their own language into something neither native speakers nor people from Japan would be able to understand. This would be tolerable if your average weeaboo was actually attempting to learn a significant amount of Japanese, but overall, most are content to learn about 1 semester’s worth, and then just slip that knowledge into their sentences.

Of course, I get really irritated when weeaboos act like Japan has something better going than America. There is a very interesting irony in this though. Anime prices are much higher in Japan! It costs about 40$ for a DVD with 2 episodes! I know this is probably going off of new titles, but that’s outrageous! Ironically, it would lead to weeaboos that actually make it to Japan finding that it is much more expensive to maintain their hobby in it’s country of origin than in another country! Prices on produce are like this too! It costs 50$ for a watermelon out there. No wonder they always eat rice! Furthermore, population density is much higher there, meaning things would be much more crowded. Why would anybody obsess over Japan when we can get their stuff in other countries for even better prices than the Japanese themselves pay!

Hence, if you encounter a weeaboo, Japanophile, wapanese guy, or whatever you prefer to call them, make sure to give them a good paddling.

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The world of Pokemon is just plain stupid

 <-While Pikachu may appear cute and cuddly, people seem to forget that it could electrocute you to death just as easily as Emperor Palpatine could. Fortunately, Pikachu forgets that too

As I was suffering from a major addiction to Pokemon Platinum, I got to the villains epic speech, and for a moment there, I just had to facepalm at the ideologies he was spouting.

Indeed, I am referring to the leader of Team Galactic, Cyrus. In the game, we meet him and hear about he wants to destroy the current order of things in order to create a new world without the flaws of the old one, sort of like Hikawa from Shin Megami Tensei Nocturne. However, today is not the day where I compare collecting Pokemon to collecting demons. This is the day where I state that Cyrus is stupid for complaining about the flaws in the Pokemon world, when it really has none.

We need to ask ourselves what is so bad about a world where we can safely send a 10-year old kid out in the wilderness with hostile animals, in order to do battle with horrible creatures, and come out a-OK. This is a world where we solve out problems with criminal organizations by having little creatures battle each other (only until they faint mind you!) until the other side runs out of little creatures, then the criminals give up their plans! Almost nobody pulls a gun, and Pokemon only very rarely attack people, and even rarer are Pokemon attacks fatal. Furthermore, the biggest crime syndicates focus their entire operations on Pokemon, rather than people. This is to say that without the Pokemon, the people would go largely unharmed, because the criminal organizations only seem to care about controlling them. Hence, the entire economy is run entirely based on Pokemon, while criminal activity that deals with other issues is largely unheard of.

Furthermore, we should look to the Pokemon themselves and realize that they too act in an idealized fashion. What is there to stop a wild Rhydon from killing a trainer after it KO’s all of their Pokemon? Nothing really. An Alakazam is said to have an amazingly high IQ. What is stopping it from using it’s powers of hypnosis to possess people, and use them to rule the world? Well, Mewtwo tried that in the first movie, but do you know what stopped him? HE DIDN’T FEEL LIKE CONQUERING THE WORLD! Him and his army of clones could have easily taken over civilization as we know it, but he didn’t because there was good in him.  Not to mention, there are several Pokemon like Tyranitar, Dragonite, Garchomp, and Gyarados that could easily crush cities with their powers, but we never see any villiages smashed because of them running around. Why? Because all of the REALLY powerful Pokemon have trainers that they listen to, despite being able to crush these trainers like the little flies they are. This means that the toughest beings in the universe are willing to just be captured and pit against each other, in futile battles that they never get killed in!

This is why I had a lot of trouble reading the speeches made by the team galactic leader. The worst part of the Pokemon universe is the threat of people stealing your Pokemon. Parents don’t even have to worry about bad thing happening to their children! These parents let their children go out and travel the world, mostly by themselves, and nothing ever happens to them! The kids come back fine, despite being attacked by monsters that could easily snap them in half, criminal organizations don’t shoot them for getting in the way, and society moves on just fine. They keep sending their kids out, and nothing bad happens, so they don’t feel the need to stop doing it! It’s basically a perfect world, where everything works out fine just because you love your Pokemon! Who would want to change that?

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Why Anime Martial artists really grind my gears

As you can tell by the topic title, I am about to start discussing martial arts in fiction. HOWEVER, I am not here to discuss how martial arts allow people to shoot fireballs from their hands. I am perfectly fine with that, as while that is not going to happen in reality, the series USUALLY does not pretend to be realistic when this happens. No, what really grinds my gears is when anime that pretends to take place in reality tries to portray martial arts.

Why is that you say? This is because martial arts are always presented as making you INVINCIBLE. I’ve taken Karate classes, and it didn’t make me toughest guy on the block. Yet, if a character in an anime has taken martial arts, they can take down an army of minions. Take for example, a scene during Key: The Metal Idol when a guy knocks a mob enforcer on his face, and mentions he was able to do it because he took some Karate in college. What, do bodyguards not have to learn to fight these days?

But do you know who REALLY grinds my gears? Ai Tokiwa from Great Teacher Onizuka. Really, a high school student who can beat the crap out of several people just because she’s taken Tai Kwon do? How long has she been taking it? Of course, she gets beaten up by the local computer nerd, who also is apparently a karate master (yeah, sure, probably took the same weekend class as Ai), but that doesn’t explain why she can take down several people… but apparently nobody in that universe believes it either.

Now then, I’ve taken some martial arts classes, and I was highly disappointed that the three months of training that I took did not allow me to take down five henchmen at once. In fact, when I discuss it with people, I’ve found that a surprising amount of people know martial arts themselves. So if I were to try to take down a bunch of people, I’d get my ass kicked. And yet, in fiction, about a month of martial arts training makes you as tough as a real person gets with 10 years training.