Yaoi Fangirls are evil

To start my triumphant return, I’m going to start by responding to a fan letter about a problem he’s been having

Dear BryAnime,

Hello, I was wondering if you could help me with a problem I’ve been having lately. My girlfriend hasn’t been paying attention to me lately, and all she wants to do is look at “boys love” doujinshi. It seemed harmless when she first starting reading it, since it was just a comic. Later though, she started asking me if I would consider kissing my best friend. I told her it was the most ridiculous idea I had ever heard, and she seemed to be legitimately disappointed by it. Later, I tried holding her hand and she wouldn’t let me. Later that night, when I proposed we have, ahem, intercourse, she denied me and instead told me all about what was going on in a manga she was reading. All she did was go on and on about semes, ukes, which of my favorite anime characters (male) look good together, and all kinds of horrible things. Then she showed me a scene from this book she was reading. I was shocked and appalled by how hardcore the material was.

Needless to say, I didn’t have intercourse that night, and instead got to hear about “boys love”…. Gross. In fact, whenever I hear her talking to her friends, she no longer mentions me as a person, and instead talks about how cute I would be with my best bud. To make matters worse, when I had my best bud over, she asked me to kiss HIM. It’s really making me uncomfortable. BryAnime, is there any hope of me getting my girlfriend back?

Sincerely,
A Neglected Boyfriend

Dear Neglected Boyfriend,
I’m sorry to say she’s probably a lost cause. Did you try talking to her about this? How bout’ suggesting she kiss one of her female friends? How about discussing Yuri with her?

If all else fails, you can rest assured knowing people like her will never breed.

Sincerely, BryAnime

Next Letter: My Boyfriend is a Furry

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