BryAnime: I really hate that stupid Red M&M

<- See that smug face? Don't you just wanna smack him upside his candy coated head?

While I was performing my usual tasks at a grocery store and looking at a promotion, one day I came to a realization: I really hate that damn red M&M. It all started when I saw this candy book shown at the right, featuring the little bastard with the title “How Red Saved Christmas.”

I believe this offends me because this little promotion shows off how much of a wanna-be know-it-all the Red M&M is, and his expression shows that he wants you to think he’s cool. Well, NOBODY THINKS YOUR COOL, you stupid candy coated pile of chocolate with legs! I don’t see what gives this asswipe the right to think he’s all that and a bag of chips, and he parades around in such a manner nonetheless! GAH, he pisses me off so much.

Of course, it doesn’t help that in the commercials he thinks he’s better than everyone. You see him push around the mentally challenged yellow M&M all the time, and he just goes along with it! What are we teaching kids these days? That you should take advantage of any peanut-headed piece of candy you can find? I just wanna see one commercial where one of the other M&M’s tells red to leave yellow the **** alone!

Looking into his profile on the M&M’s website, we can tell that this guy is in fact, a total tool. His biggest turn on is “When people blindly follow his advice.” UGH. I think the guy at “weights down” said it best

“I hate all M&M commercials. The red one talks like the kind of cynical [expletive] you'd find working a crappy booth at a movie convention that thinks he's hot [expletive] because the other nerds look up to him even though in reality you wouldn't waste your time smacking his lunch tray out of his hands if you saw him in a high school cafeteria, “

I mean really, who does this guy think he is? Just because he’s the spokesman for some candy company doesn’t mean anybody has to think he’s cool. I personally refuse to buy any package of M&M’s if it has the red guy on package predominantly, assuming it can be avoided. Of course it helps that Peanut butter M&M’s beat the stuffing out of milk chocolate M&M’s anyway! You hear that Red? YOUR CANDY ISN’T THAT GOOD!

Anyway, I really felt the need to vent on this. It’s not good for a person to keep blinding hatred like the hate I possess for the Red M&M bottled up, right?

Most importantly, for the M&M election thing that I keep finding on my Dr. Pepper cups, I strongly urge you to vote for anybody but Red. We can’t let people like this into office. See, he's even ignoring you right now while text messaging! Isn't that irritating?