Why Weeaboos really grind my Gears

I find weeaboos to be really irritating. For those of you that are uninformed, a weeaboo is a slang term for a white guy (female weeaboos exist, They are less common, but I assure you, just as irritating as their male counterpart) who is obsessed with Japan. These people bother me because I actually think Japan sounds like a dreadful place from my American perspective, and why somebody would want to live there instead of America baffles me. Alas, these people seem intrigued with this entire culture that they know of only by watching cartoons.

This is of course, incredibly silly. These people are under a strange impression that Japan would be accepting of them if they were to go there, which is funny, because Japan is a notably elitist country. Furthermore, weeaboos seem to think that Japanese women (or men) will be attracted to them. These people are wrong, for their dating lives will be just as lonely and miserable in Japan as they are in their home country. Yes, that does mean you. While it is true that you may be a foreigner, which is interesting, your personality will remain the same, and as your true colors come out, it will be revealed that they don’t actually find your personality all that attractive, as you just sit there fascinated by the things they do everyday. After that, they will leave you for a Japanese man (or girl) in the same fashion the members of the opposite sex practice in your home country.

Although delusions of Japan wanting the average weeaboo to move to their county greatly grind my gears, these conversations are quite easy to avoid. Unlike these conversations many weeaboos will decide to use Japanese phrases in their everyday speaking. This is strange, inconsistent, and usually holds no meaning to those who don’t speak the language, or the butchered variant that weeaboos speak. So while these people may feel that they are more cultured, they are in fact just butchering their own language into something neither native speakers nor people from Japan would be able to understand. This would be tolerable if your average weeaboo was actually attempting to learn a significant amount of Japanese, but overall, most are content to learn about 1 semester’s worth, and then just slip that knowledge into their sentences.

Of course, I get really irritated when weeaboos act like Japan has something better going than America. There is a very interesting irony in this though. Anime prices are much higher in Japan! It costs about 40$ for a DVD with 2 episodes! I know this is probably going off of new titles, but that’s outrageous! Ironically, it would lead to weeaboos that actually make it to Japan finding that it is much more expensive to maintain their hobby in it’s country of origin than in another country! Prices on produce are like this too! It costs 50$ for a watermelon out there. No wonder they always eat rice! Furthermore, population density is much higher there, meaning things would be much more crowded. Why would anybody obsess over Japan when we can get their stuff in other countries for even better prices than the Japanese themselves pay!

Hence, if you encounter a weeaboo, Japanophile, wapanese guy, or whatever you prefer to call them, make sure to give them a good paddling.

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Why Anime Martial artists really grind my gears

As you can tell by the topic title, I am about to start discussing martial arts in fiction. HOWEVER, I am not here to discuss how martial arts allow people to shoot fireballs from their hands. I am perfectly fine with that, as while that is not going to happen in reality, the series USUALLY does not pretend to be realistic when this happens. No, what really grinds my gears is when anime that pretends to take place in reality tries to portray martial arts.

Why is that you say? This is because martial arts are always presented as making you INVINCIBLE. I’ve taken Karate classes, and it didn’t make me toughest guy on the block. Yet, if a character in an anime has taken martial arts, they can take down an army of minions. Take for example, a scene during Key: The Metal Idol when a guy knocks a mob enforcer on his face, and mentions he was able to do it because he took some Karate in college. What, do bodyguards not have to learn to fight these days?

But do you know who REALLY grinds my gears? Ai Tokiwa from Great Teacher Onizuka. Really, a high school student who can beat the crap out of several people just because she’s taken Tai Kwon do? How long has she been taking it? Of course, she gets beaten up by the local computer nerd, who also is apparently a karate master (yeah, sure, probably took the same weekend class as Ai), but that doesn’t explain why she can take down several people… but apparently nobody in that universe believes it either.

Now then, I’ve taken some martial arts classes, and I was highly disappointed that the three months of training that I took did not allow me to take down five henchmen at once. In fact, when I discuss it with people, I’ve found that a surprising amount of people know martial arts themselves. So if I were to try to take down a bunch of people, I’d get my ass kicked. And yet, in fiction, about a month of martial arts training makes you as tough as a real person gets with 10 years training.