Why Anime Martial artists really grind my gears

As you can tell by the topic title, I am about to start discussing martial arts in fiction. HOWEVER, I am not here to discuss how martial arts allow people to shoot fireballs from their hands. I am perfectly fine with that, as while that is not going to happen in reality, the series USUALLY does not pretend to be realistic when this happens. No, what really grinds my gears is when anime that pretends to take place in reality tries to portray martial arts.

Why is that you say? This is because martial arts are always presented as making you INVINCIBLE. I’ve taken Karate classes, and it didn’t make me toughest guy on the block. Yet, if a character in an anime has taken martial arts, they can take down an army of minions. Take for example, a scene during Key: The Metal Idol when a guy knocks a mob enforcer on his face, and mentions he was able to do it because he took some Karate in college. What, do bodyguards not have to learn to fight these days?

But do you know who REALLY grinds my gears? Ai Tokiwa from Great Teacher Onizuka. Really, a high school student who can beat the crap out of several people just because she’s taken Tai Kwon do? How long has she been taking it? Of course, she gets beaten up by the local computer nerd, who also is apparently a karate master (yeah, sure, probably took the same weekend class as Ai), but that doesn’t explain why she can take down several people… but apparently nobody in that universe believes it either.

Now then, I’ve taken some martial arts classes, and I was highly disappointed that the three months of training that I took did not allow me to take down five henchmen at once. In fact, when I discuss it with people, I’ve found that a surprising amount of people know martial arts themselves. So if I were to try to take down a bunch of people, I’d get my ass kicked. And yet, in fiction, about a month of martial arts training makes you as tough as a real person gets with 10 years training.

Retro Moment: Key: The Metal Idol (1994)

Hello all, it's time to review an older anime I’ve watched known as "Key: the Metal Idol." That had to be about the weirdest, most messed up series I've seen in a while. I loved every minute of it. Really, now, it's a brutal depiction of people vying for fame and power, looking for an edge, starring a robot that has a mission to earn the trust of 30000 people.

Really now, what makes this show different form every other show depicting a robot wanting to be human? Well, as can be observed, this one much darker, by a severe degree. Also, it's not about a guy who fumbles upon/creates the perfect woman. Oh no, this is about a naive person going out and experiencing the seedy underbelly of Tokyo. Not to mention, the twisted people who are interested in her. What could make it better? That would be the fact that there's no tacked-on romance subplot. Oh yes, you don't have to worry about them poking their nose where they don't belong. Unfortunately, this show does suffer from boring first-episode syndrome. So without spoiling it, I can say this is one twisted, gut wrenching, and awesome experience.

Is it worth it? Well, when it comes to DVD content, they were kind enough to follow the Fruits Basket train of thought. They crammed at least 3 hours on each DVD, keeping it down to a tidy 3 DVDs. In total, this series has 13 normal sized episodes, and 2 triple length episodes, so it will take a bit of time to watch. However, there is no filler, which is great for a series of this length. Not that I have a problem with filler or anything, but this isn't the series it belongs in. Unfortunately, since this series is quite old, it is aa eal bugger to find and get a good price on. Even Ebay managed to fail me on getting a price under 30$. However, I can say that it was worth it, and you can get it easily with the Blockbuster movie pass or Netflix, as nobody's renting it due to obscurity. But then again, after viewing the first disk, I decided it was worthy of joining the various DVDs I have on display. Anyway, I found Key: The Metal Idol to be a very disturbing, and worthwhile experience.

Yaoi Fangirls are evil

To start my triumphant return, I’m going to start by responding to a fan letter about a problem he’s been having

Dear BryAnime,

Hello, I was wondering if you could help me with a problem I’ve been having lately. My girlfriend hasn’t been paying attention to me lately, and all she wants to do is look at “boys love” doujinshi. It seemed harmless when she first starting reading it, since it was just a comic. Later though, she started asking me if I would consider kissing my best friend. I told her it was the most ridiculous idea I had ever heard, and she seemed to be legitimately disappointed by it. Later, I tried holding her hand and she wouldn’t let me. Later that night, when I proposed we have, ahem, intercourse, she denied me and instead told me all about what was going on in a manga she was reading. All she did was go on and on about semes, ukes, which of my favorite anime characters (male) look good together, and all kinds of horrible things. Then she showed me a scene from this book she was reading. I was shocked and appalled by how hardcore the material was.

Needless to say, I didn’t have intercourse that night, and instead got to hear about “boys love”…. Gross. In fact, whenever I hear her talking to her friends, she no longer mentions me as a person, and instead talks about how cute I would be with my best bud. To make matters worse, when I had my best bud over, she asked me to kiss HIM. It’s really making me uncomfortable. BryAnime, is there any hope of me getting my girlfriend back?

Sincerely,
A Neglected Boyfriend

Dear Neglected Boyfriend,
I’m sorry to say she’s probably a lost cause. Did you try talking to her about this? How bout’ suggesting she kiss one of her female friends? How about discussing Yuri with her?

If all else fails, you can rest assured knowing people like her will never breed.

Sincerely, BryAnime

Next Letter: My Boyfriend is a Furry

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Why does my girlfriend want me to be a bishounen?
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I'm coming back

Well, I haven't' posted here in a while due to life and stuff...

alas, my job has been cutting hours like crazy, and I'm gonna try to make it back here. So, happy to be back, and may my page views be plenty

Comic Con 2009

 <-During this convention, I learned to summon a new Persona, Bumblebee. He's level 76 and of the Chariot Arcana

It occurs to me that I have not told all of you about my epic and perilous journey to comicon yet, despite being home for about a week Overall, it was incredibly awesome, on the level of Anime Expo. However, Comiccon was good because the actual convention was better, not because of my skill at convention hopping. Which is good, because Anime expo really relied on me knowing what to do. This was my first comicon, and I had a wonderful time despite not having a bloody clue what to do

Oh yes, pictures can be found on my myspace

Rather than act like the know all authority on comiccon, I'm going to just go over the events I attended each day.

DAY 0: After a long moderately difficult ride to San Diego, the team arrived at the convention center. Parking was difficult, but God smiled upon the convention, and decided that the wait in line to get in would be a mere 10 minutes. I wad even allowed to attend preview night, although I did not have the proper ticket. Indeed, it was a glorious occasion where I was able to see a shopping center capable of eating Anime Expo alive. This exhibition hall was freaking HUGE! I was afraid my head would explode from all of the hugeness. Walking from one side to the other took like 10 minutes, and the entire place was filled with comic book stands, freebies, booth babes, a guy dressed as a giant pikachu, and everything a dork could want. Also, we got some preview night exclusive freebies. It was pretty cool.

DAY 1: Oh yeah, after day zero, we realized there was more to this convention than a bunch of exhibits. On this day, I donned the Yasogami high colors (see above cosplay), and traveled around as the Persona 4 main character once more. I was genuinely shocked that, aside from the shin Megami Tensei gathering at Anime Expo, more people asked me for pictures. We started by dropping off my friend in the line to get into purgatory.... wait.... oh, no it was the line to get in the Twilight panel, sorry. That was the scariest line I had encountered in my life. It extended around the convention center, all the way to a couple blocks away (see picture, but we couldn't fit the whole thing in one shot). Me and my friend the photographer went up to the person in front of the line and asked when they started waiting, and she said.... TWO DAYS AGO! Well, apparently Robert Pattinson and the cast to Twilight were there, so I guess it makes sense... I guess I'll compare it to waiting for Star Wars to understand it. On another note, my friend DID bring up a strong point about guys taking their girlfriends to that panel..... “Why would you take your girlfriend to go a see a guy she would dump you for in a heartbeat?”

After that I traveled around the exhibition hall some more, and took picture, had pictures taken of me, gazed in awe at the 25-foot tall statue of Bumblebee from Transformers. I took pictures of the very awesome figurines on display.... all of them were out of my price range. They don't sale action figures for little kids at this convention, they crate them specifically for comic book-guys. I ended the day by seeing the premiere of the movie “Green Lantern: First Flight” This movie was AWESOME... but sadly I was a teensy bit late, so I only saw the end part of … wait for it.... The creator of the movie forcing the crowd to state the Green Lantern slogan! It sounded like a church chorus!. Oh, yeah then my friends placed like 5th in a Magic: the gathering Tournament. I guess all that money they blew on children's card games payed off in the end.

DAY 2: Ah yes, the day where I really comicon'd. On this day, I waited in the line to purgatory starting at around 9:00 AM, in order to get into Hall H (the big event hall) at around 12:30. Fun. Once we got in, I saw the disney panel..... Their doing some cool flashy stuff, and they announced Toy Story 3 was coming. On another note, Miyazaki himself was at the con (My friends at Expo were SO pissed that he went to Comicon instead of anime expo) After that, we saw some interview about “Legion” (Angels with machineguns, looked kinda meh) “9” (Post apocalyptic world run by vodoo doll people running from robots..... is looking AWESOME) and “District 9 “(Documentary about aliens living on earth and people defending their rights, getting violent... I'm SO seeing that opening weekend) After that came the Star Wars panel. Their apparently making a MMO set in the Knights of the Old Republic universe.... I'm on the fence here, I love the old republic more than the Original Trilogy, but I don't like MMOs. Also, they are releasing a expansion to Force unleashed, that expands on the darkside ending, where the apprentice goes and slaughters the rebellion. Sweet.

After I sat around and watched people announce things on day 2 (we camped in Hall H, and saw the big events) I decided to head on to the Klingon lifestyles panel, and watch some guys dressed as Klingons do a skit. It was hilarious, and the commanding officer changed 4 times throughout the skit. After spending an hour being a big trekkie, I decided to go be a Star Wars Nerd and see the Star Wars fan film awards. Never before have so many people dressed as Boba Fett been in the same room. That was pretty interesting, as I saw some neat videos, and saw a preview to the sequel to the Star Wars gangsta rap. My favorite fan made video was probably “Star Wars in a notebook,” but the votes said “Saber” was the best.

DAY 3: The last day that I spent at the con was pretty schweet. Not as good as the second, but schweet nonetheless. I actually did some buying in ye exhibition hall, took picture of more cosplayers, and then... well, my systems were overloaded and I hung around with the team for a bit. When I regained my stamina, I journeyed to the Venture Brothers panel (Where they mainly talked about cartoon penis) After Dinner, I ended comicon by going to Flynn's arcade. Yes, the Arcade from Tron. They recreated an arcade from the 80's just to promote the new Tron movie. Inside this arcade, there where arcade machines playing video games from Tron. Inside, they had an actual lightcyle from Tron. This was nerdy to the extreme, and was just about one of the best promotion I've ever seen. One of our teamates looked like he jizzed in his pants. Thankfully, we concluded comicon quite well

COMPARISON TO ANIME EXPO: Well, why not, I'll compare Comicon to Anime Expo. Comicon was bigger, that much was for certain. Comicon had better daytime programming, a better Exhibition hall, and better promotions. Comicon had better cosplayers, although Expo had more of them. Expo had some great cosplayers, but come on, Comcion had a Klingon that was assimilated by the borg. Expo did have it's strong points over comicon though. There was way better nightlife at expo, better panels, and it had a rave. Also.... uh.... the movies and anime shown at Expo was better. Well, if I prefered American Comics to japanese ones, I'd like Comicon more.... but Comicion was selling just as much anime stuff as the anime convention. I had slightly more fun at Expo, but not by a large margin.... but if Expo keeps going at it's current rate, I may end up likeing comicon more.

Related Posts:
Anime Expo 2009
Convention trances. Drawing on the essence of anime conventions

Anime Expo 2009

 <-That's me in costume on the left, and some Chie cosplayer I met on artist alley on the right.

As an anime blogger, it is my duty to attend anime expo ant tell you all how it went. I can tell you that this year was fun, but not as fun as the previous year. I find that if it were not for my keen convention senses, I would not have nearly as much fun as I did, but, my experience from the past five anime expos that I attended (Yeah I’ve attended six anime conventions now. Take that anime club president!)

Just because this year was fun does not mean that it was the best of anime expo. This year was not as good as last year (which was not as good as the year before it, although 2007 managed to be better than 2006) for several reasons. I find that although the Los Angeles convention center is nice, the con isn’t filling it with as much good stuff. The Long beach convention center was too small to contain it, but they managed to put in much more effort, creating a better con. I also found that holding major events in the Nokia theater had a much better feel than in some hall in the convention center (alas, I understand that Nokia theater is expensive) Furthermore, the weapon policies and safety procedures of the Los Angeles convention center simply blow. A decent summary of the weapon policy is “If your weapon looks like fun, you can’t bring it in.” The weapon policy makes it so that if your weapon looks like something your character would use, you can’t weild it. I wanted to bring a golf club for my costume, but that doesn’t even comply with their ridiculous policies. Not to mention, there’s a lot of restrictions on throwing items into crowds. Two years ago, ADV had an awesome booth with a tower that they threw free stuff into the crowd from. At LA? I didn’t even see an ADV booth this year. Overall, they didn’t put as much effort into this year’s con.

Lets see, programming. This year’s AMV contest was not nearly as good as last years. My favorite AMV was “Code Roll,” followed by an AMV to “Through the Fire and Flames” by Dragonforce. Nothing that could compare to “The Harrassement of Kyon” from last year. The previous year was a bit more explosive, and I got a much better overall vibe. This year had some sparks, but nothing that could top last year.

Ah, I also attended the Masquerade this year (unlike last year) Some skits would be funnier had I seen the anime they came from. Alas, I had not seen them. I thought the over-elaborite costumes on display were nice, such as a guy dressed as Safer-Sephiroth. Some parts were less than interesting.

Let’s See, Anime I watched while there…. I watched a few episodes of Ouran host club, which was HILARIOUS. I watched the first few episodes of Lucky Star, which did not live up to its creator’s other work (The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzimiya) The best anime I saw was definitely Gurran Laggan: The movie. My Friend Iron Peanut was right about that movie. That movie was so manly that watching it almost made me grow a full beard. It was an anime that managed to be about as manly as 300. Yeah, that movie was very manly, and it warrants its own review. I’ll do that later though.

Let’s talk about the people at the con. Well, I managed to make it to quite a few cosplay gatherings. Shin Megami Tensei gathering had a lot of cool people, except it was disappointing due to the fact that nobody dressed up as the main villain from Persona 4. I got to participate in the gathering at least, which was fun. Other gatherings I attended include: The Kingdom Hearts gathering, which was rather funny, and the Legend of Zelda gathering, which had some amazing costumes. The Yu gi Oh gathering was interesting because of the dedication of the fans, while finally, the Rurouni Kenshin gathering was interesting because a lot of my friends were in it (I may go to next years Rurouni Kenshin gathering dressed as Shishio.) On another note, my Hotel Group managed to be about on par with last years. I was roomed with an Axel cosplayer and a Demyx (Kingdom Hearts II), along with one of the best Uhara (Bleach) cosplayers in the con. Everyone was pretty nice.

Oh yes, and the underground fun that lies in the con…. The parties! Yes, when you get 50k people together, there happen to be some party animals in there. I found the parties to be satisfactory, despite the fact that they were in the Westin hotel instead of the convention center. Now then, having the parties in the same hotel that I am staying at isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but it did limit a few of my friends abilities to go to it. Blech. First type of party was… THE RAVE! I was only able to get into the rave on night 2, because on night 3 the line was too bloody long. Also, I was only able to stay for an hour, because I had to see the AMV contest. What raving I did do was awesome, however, despite the fact that I couldn’t get into the hotel room to drop off my bag. Stupid hotel room rules) Now then, on night three, the line extended about half the length of the lobby, making attending the rave nearly impossible. (it got shut down before I would have gotten in anyway) So on the third (and final) night, I managed to find a party in my hotel lobby. Better yet, I got to dance with a girl wearing an outfit with like, a bajillion buttons on it, which was pretty fun. She wasn’t a very good dancer, but really, it’s the effort that counts. In summary, the parties were pretty great this year, assuming you were cool enough to get in. Which I obviously am.

Although it had its downsides, AX managed to be rally fun. Still the highlight of the year (well, actually, I’m going to Comicon this year, so it has an opponent) Any Otaku should attempt to make it, at least just to see how insane it is. However, hopefully next year the people running the event manage to get their act together, because quality has been sinking.

Next Year: Anime Expo 2010->

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Anime in Focus: The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzimiya Season 2 Episode 1

And thus, the second coming of Haruhi came, and all was good

Ah, the world’s fastest growing religion is back in full force. Yes, that’s right, I’m talking about the Church of Haruhi Suzimiya. Yes, this church has been gaining support in many corners of the internet from casual anime fans, to the hardcore people who will traumatize you life. As a high priest of this religion, it is absolutely mandatory that I view the first episode of the second season and report how it’s looking.

Fear not, for this season does not appear to be suffering decay from the first season. Kyon is still his old sarcastic self, Haruhi is still the worlds leading rebel, and Mikuru excudes so much moe that youre head will explode. Alas, we have seen little of Ikutski or Yuki, so a report on their status is unavailable for now. However, KyonxMikuru shippers will be pleased to know that this season starts with a healthy dose of the favorite couple. HaruhixKyon shippers get a little too, but as always, it is not as pronounced. It matters not, however, because Kyon is cuter with Mikuru anyway.

This season starts with a time travel episode, that shows a bit of Haruhi at a younger age, and Kyon causing confusing time paradoxes. Alas, if one wanted coherence, they should go watch another show. For, as all who have seen the first season of this show will realize, this show is nothing, if coherent.

Should you watch this show? Yeah, right now (link) It’s realatively new, so nobody should get into trouble, as it hasn’t even been officially translated yet. But really, enough of my opinion, go watch it before they take it off Youtube. Do I like it? Look at my avatar!

Next Episode-> 

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