My resignation from the church of Haruhi

 <-sad music playing in background

Well, Ladies and Gentleman, I make no secret of the fact that I am a member of the clergy in the Eastern Orthodox church of Haruhi Suzumiya. Alas, I believe that recent events have caused me to falter from the path set aside for us by our patron, Haruhi.

I have been meditating with my fellow Haruhiists, and alas, they were entierely unable to convince me that I should renew my faith. Instead, I will attempt to look for time Travelers, Espers, and Aliens in my own fashion. Alas, I cannot remain within the church, for I do not feel that it will help me cope with my lack of faith.

What has caused me to falter? Well, I do not believe I can maintain my faith under such trials and tribulations as the “Endless Eight” and the rest of the second season. At the start, “Bamboo Leaf Rhapsody” led me to believe that there would be hope for the second coming of Haruhi, but alas, I have now realized that there can be no second coming. There will only be Anti-Haruhis and those claiming to have seen her word, false believers, and those who are delusional and have no REAL faith in this church. How could my faith grow in such circumstances?

I ask you this bretheren in the Church of Haruhi! Why do you remain when our patron refuses to answer our prayers? Does standing by and waiting for something to happen not violate the strict doctrines outlined in the opening hymn “Bouken Desho Desho?” Alas, who wants to stand by and wait for something to happen on that lonely rail? I cannot speak for all of you believers, but I believe that we can find hope outside of this Haruhi-forsaken church

Alas, from this day forward, I am a Haruhiist no more.

So long, and thanks for the memories.

(Oh yeah, this post was proven to be bogus when I got my faith back upon seeing the movie. See?)

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Haruhi Season 2 episode 1