Being the male lead in a slapstick comedy is painful

<-Throwing freaking firelogs. When do we just draw the line and call it domestic violence?

Previous Letter: How to get my Boyfriend to stop watching anime

Dear BryAnime

I met this girl see, and I kind of like her, I guess. Except there’s this problem I have with her. Sometimes I’ll screw up and do something stupid or perverted see. Now then, with this girl, there is no slipping up and accidentally doing something. With her, no matter how obvious it is that it was an honest mistake, she’ll wail on me like I drugged her drink and took advantage of her.

Like this one time, I accidentally slipped on something and accidentally groped her, She freaking pulled a hammer out nowhere and WAILED  on me. I went flying across the room, and everybody was acting like she was in the right for some reason! It was freaking weird. Nobody seemed to notice or care that she whacked me hard enough to send me that far, but I’m the villain because I slipped and grabbed something. This one time it was even worse. We were walking around somewhere, she tripped, and I ACCIDENTALLY saw up her skirt, and then smacked me so hard I nearly collided with a building! Yet nobody cared or called the police about this!

I’m not even sure why I still like her sometimes. I mean sometimes she’s nice, but if I so much as look like I’m thinking a dirty thought, she’ll wail on me. For some reason, it seems like she can always find a wooden mallet lying around, no matter the situation, and she always winds up whacking me with it. I try to tell my friends about it, but they blame it on ME for some reason! It’s so frustrating sometimes, I don’t know what to do….

What do you think?

Sincerely,

The main character in a slapstick comedy

Dear main character in a slapstick comedy,

I think you said it best. Why do you still like this person? You realize she’s not going to stop this as she gets older, right? So why stick around now? You should really be concerned, because this could be bad for your mental health. By sitting by and taking this, you’re saying it’s OK to just randomly hit people with a mallet. You really need to get of there before she decides to take this too far, if you know what’s good for you.

Sinceerely, BryAnime

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